As stupid as it sounds, I think the reason I’ve been unable to give two shits about school or take any of it seriously is because when I force myself to, I hate my life.

I mean, I tried last night. I told myself, I’ve already majorly fucked up one class, I shouldn’t completely show my worthlessness by failing the others. So I turned the computer off and tried focusing completely on my schoolwork, telling myself that I HAVE to work and it isn’t as if I’m the only one who hates having to do this.

And seriously, if I can’t do this, would I be the same way every time there was something I didn’t want to do? How would that work. I hope it’s just because I think I can survive without graduating that I am unmotivated. How would I deal with the real world.?

I’d like to say I haven’t done anything drastic since that last blog but I dunno how drastic you consider noticing you missed a small blood vessel by a centimeter.

Sorry Mami, I should’ve let you keep the cutter. But then how would I sharpen pencils? :P