December 2011
7 posts
i don't like letting the people at home know...
i just don’t.
i can’t even explain it to them if i tried.
Im scared. scared of what i might do. scared of what happens when Im better. scared that when better comes. ill have ruined every thing for every one.
i want her help how do i ask for it
Sorry for all this guys.
I'm in a mood.
I’m sorta scared. Unfortunately, nothing I do would suggest this.
Why bother asking for help when I never listen.
Ha ha ha.
The temporary solutions seem to only be good for a year. Afterwards, it all goes to shit again.
2 tags
I think I might've figured it out.
As stupid as it sounds, I think the reason I’ve been unable to give two shits about school or take any of it seriously is because when I force myself to, I hate my life.
I mean, I tried last night. I told myself, I’ve already majorly fucked up one class, I shouldn’t completely show my worthlessness by failing the others. So I turned the computer off and tried focusing completely...
1 tag
Stay close to me. Can you see it in my eyes?
I bring it all on myself. I cannot understand why I cannot bring myself to care more about what happens to me academically, but that I want to kill myself now that i’m almost sure I’ve fucked up past the point of being fixable.
I don’t care about going to college anymore but quitting is not an option. i can’t do that to my mum.
Then why would i even think of doing...
October 2011
8 posts
2 tags
I'm currently really REALLY stressed over how...
Like, the only way I’m going to finish this is if I don’t sleep at all and work consistently until it’s due.
THere is virtually no chance of that happening.
I realize how much shit I am in. I am unbothered by that it seems. That scares me.
4 tags
I may be argumentative as fuck;
but I cannot be über ragey at people who are supposedly fighting for the same thing I am, but with glaring differences.
I may be pissed off as hell and cuss them out, but I find it counter productive to turn them into the enemy considering I feel the mutual enemy will always see it as a weakness.
So yes, I’m more likely to take the calm rational road uif we’re SUPPOSED to be on the...
4 tags
One of my friends thinks I'm always in-your-face...
Which, to be fair, I am a lot. But idk, it’s been bothering me that I dcome off as not having a calm, nice approach!mode when it comes to dealing with things.
Which my mind quickly jumps to defend and go I totally do, NO WAI I TOTES DO!
But then, I start thinking do I think my more aggressive approach is wrong then, if I’m so quick to say that’s not all there is to me?
...
3 tags
I don't think I can stress enough just how fucked...
Why oh WHY do I have zero motivation to work? Like, fucking zero! I cannae tell my parents because we supposedly fixed this problem last time by transfering me to animation.
Its just… when faced with so much work, instead of doing things the rational way and working on it one at a time, I just freeze up and decide not to do anything at all.
Fuck a fucking duck, I wanna graduate. So why am...
My voice is showing signs of cracking.
Jess says I now sound like a stereotypical teenage nerd. :))
Is it my fault I'm a growly dickface?
I think not considering everyone in this house has been acting like a dick to me all day.
Fuck you shits. I really don’t need this crap right now.
100 gesture drawings a week.
I spend all my time looking for images, you know how long it takes me to complete 30? an hour.
Fuck a duck.
1 tag
Jess and I have a secret project.
But I’m not telling you what it is and it’s okay because barely anyone follows this account anyway. :3c
September 2011
4 posts
There is school today.
I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.
I don't have any drive to draw when I'm at home.
And that’s very very bad.
1 tag
2 tags
I guess it was sort of coming to this?
I’m not flouncing off the other accounts. Just, y’know… taking a breather.
I might end up just deleting this and going back to the other one or maybe updating both, one as a personal life-only blog and one as the kind I’ve been regularly operating.
I haven’t the foggiest.